I would like to express my heartfelt apology to all my fans, and tearfully admit that the rumors are true: I did knowingly and willfully take steroids, this past week.* Though I wanted to confess sooner, my lawyers advised me against it, but I cannot keep this to myself any longer. I want to assure you that my taking of performence enhancing drugs was purely for health reasons, and that it has had no effect whatsoever upon my increased production. I would also like to ask my fellow bloggers and members of the media to please stop calling me a “cheater” and a “creep,” and kindly grant me my rightful place in the Hall of Fame.
Oh, and should I hit 70 home runs in this summer’s church softball league, rest assured that it is completely unrelated.
That is all.
*Technically, they were corticosteroids, which have finally cleared up the sinus infection I’ve been fighting for the past two weeks, but let’s not quibble.
C. Orthodoxy 
And I thought only your little brother was on roids. Where did your mother and I go wrong /-)
By: Dad on January 17, 2010
at 3:07 pm